Saturday, November 27, 2010

*...confessional...*

Dreams are tricky things..
Things appear that you knnow deep down you want, and even if u can resist them when your awake, the thought of NOT wanting them doesn't occur to you soon enough to at least think about resisting....but then waking up, if you can remember the dream enough, leads to a slight conviction.....or in my case, what've I done?

My dreams consist of dying, or doing the one thing I cannot do, I refuse to do, the last thing that would separate me from humanity in my eyes and completely toss me into the rank of monsters....

I CANNOT DO THIS ON MY OWN!
I need Jesus' touch in everything
God help me
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

*...betweenHeaven&Hell...*

When I dream, you're exactly what I ask for
But wide awake, I know exactly what I left for...
Tormenting nights are your delight
Leavingg me begging, pleading, please bring me glowing morning light

Before I lose myself, im going, im going
Im leaning farther then I would
Farther than I thought I could
Farther in than I'd ever admit I should

But He was always there, and is, and always will be
And He really seems to care, more than you've ever showed me

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

*...our reflection...*

Sitting alone in the corner of his room
He considers all the options
One more day like this, is all it'll take for him to lose it
He goes to the cabinet
Pulls out a straight razor
Doesn't even look at it
he chokes it in his
Right hand
he thinks, this what he deserves
As he, purges

No no! No, no no! Don't take it out on yourself
No no! No, no no! Dont take it out on yourself!
Everybody falls down!
Everyone will feel the ground
Crumble beneath them
Don't believe that its all over yet!
Everybody falls down!
Everyone will feel the ground
Crumble beneath them
Don't believe that its all over yet!

Sitting alone in the corner of her room
She considers all the options
As she thinks about all the stares and glares she felt
What's that image?
Does it fit with this?
If I don't eat, will it make me look perfect?
When the real question is, is social gluttony worth it?

No no! No, no no! Don't take it out on yourself
No no! No, no no! Dont take it out on yourself!
Everybody falls down!
Everyone will feel the ground
Crumble beneath them
Don't believe that its all over yet!
Everybody falls down!
Everyone will feel the ground
Crumble beneath them
Don't believe that its all over yet!

We all get caught up in our own reflections and miss the scenery just passed the glass
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Thursday, November 4, 2010

*...no general direction...*

If you focus gently, then you may see, a stranger in the distance walking, the night clothes it's figure while the moon shine is bright, and the only thing you can make out is barely mentioned cries..
Off in the horizon, it wanders back and forth with a ember, lit on its lip, and a posture, its drag of the hips, as you can study how itt walks in an undirected motion,

Walking closer, the figure seems to bbe shrinking, till you're close enough to see this figure is more of a girl not quite at your height, her age is unknown, if you'd ask she'd probably lie, she nodds hello with a lit cigarette and a bottle of crown, you watch, stunned, as she lifts and swallows it all, then smashes the glass to the ground

and then the sights surround, there is music from no sound and a club springs up around her, dancing the night away
But when 3 comes along, she's not ready to leave
She comes back to you to ask for one more drink
Even when before you said no, and she called you cheap
She can barely stand and you can tell that her body's weak
You ask if she's alright, she asks if she can spend the night
You take a second to think twice but say yes when you see tears in her eyes
"Its been a year since I've been home", she cries
"It's been a year full of roofies, weed, and lies"
She whispers as you take her in your arms
"Rest safely, tonight i've got you. No one here is going to hurt you"
They remain right on the edge of your tongue since she had already fell asleep, her body couldn't take all the pain, even though you know it's numb

Honestly, you're in another city, you were just passing by, when you saw her figure in the distance and went to find out what was what..
So you take her back to your motel, its a shame, she's so cute, why does she do this to herself, you lay her down and tuck her under your covers, and spend the night sitting in a seat right beside her, wandering how exactly she's to the react waking up the morning after..

hours pass, its 3pm, she's just now starting to wake, she rubs her eyes and stretches then, looks at you, then at her, and gives a look like" oh my, not again!"
You back away, and just say hey..I found you last night, I wont hurt you please don't be afraid
She just smiles, pulls out a lighter, "well, how did you like it?"
"I am sorry, but you misread clues of what have happend"
"Wait, what do you mean?"
You explain; she said she thought that was all just a dream
apparently she had been misused so many times, she tries to find an outlet some way to escape, so she goes into fantasies types so strong they ressemble dreams, but you assured her its not what she had come to believe, then she said she did remember vaguely sneaking out to drink..

You asked who she is but she quickly presses her finger to you lips as she interrupts with "I like you, please don't ask too much about me, because I'm afraid of what you might do if you found out"

In instant shock at the wording, you think back to last night and want to ask her more....but who are you? Just a person caught in a dire situation with no help, no guidance ...how can you help?
Sometimes leaving things as they lay is the safest way

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4

*...phrases (pt1)...*

Im a car crash baby, torn up like a limousine , leave me on the side of the street and don't give into me

I know its just so tempting, to stop, and see what you're missing
But at best our love is just, accidental

If you stay, then they'll pass and say
Look at them, they're ghosts caught up in the past
Silly kids don't they know that it won't last
My death is on your hands, your free spirit sucked me in like quick sand

Barely wide awake, covered in sweat and taken by shakes, our memories are hard to escape, i'm tryin hard to get away but have only been running in place, I guess something inside of me is still holding on to you

But if dreams are right, then you'll never be mine, your ambitions are to leave all of me behind
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4

Monday, November 1, 2010

*...grey-scale...*

What is there to relay when all the information is the same? Or how can you measure the difference if nothing has changed?

And how do you believe you are more, if you do less?
Where is the sense in that?

Some say, you must keep to gain..others say, saving is vain. The issue argued as it is black or white..as an artist, I employ grey-scale
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4